Time of my life

Huge sorry

2009-10-19T09:07:00.000-07:00

Hey okay to terence im sorry you had to see that post.
I was pissed at you at the time so I said some pretty stupid stuff..
And yes i know that sometimes we say things from the heart when we are angry..
But honestly I dont want you to get out of my life okay?
I never did..

aw my throat hurts =/
Dunno why..think im losing my voice =(
Crap..I'll cry if i lose my voice =(
anyways i think im getting a new blog soon..haha i need to figure out how..

Supposed to be studying

2009-09-30T08:46:00.000-07:00

Well yea im supposed to be studying now..haha
but nvm
oh yea i forget to mention some quite important updates..
1.I have a band
2.Marcus is not my best friend/friend anymore
3.Exams are in 7 days
4.I just realised Francesca reads my blog =O
haha
5. er... there's no 5, i'll just stop at my fav number 4
haha
so im going out tomorrow..
yea...
well im off to bed now..
ciao!

Doubts,thoughts and NEWS!

2009-09-21T08:05:00.000-07:00

I haven't blogged for a VERY VERY long time.
And im not gonna make this post colourful.
I'm too lazy ;P
haha
.

Rayner is now known as Sunshine.Period.
HAHA

Junior cat has been very fun.
Will miss it.
But now i love catechism class..
I dont know..
It just feels so different now.
I's like we have all been in the same calss for 4 years.
We've all journeyed together.
It's a really nice feeling =)

Study Date
After our A math remedial in school on one of the days during the september holidays,
I went out with Christabel and Jacq to the library to study after breakfast.
I also had to meet Darryl there cause i was supposed to study with him too. haha
Then it was quite awkward at first when we all met up but it was ok after awhile.
Darryl helpe me in my physics and i managed to do some questions..
No thank you to my short attention span. haha

Stayover at Zena's
Went to stayover with Stelle at Zena's
But before that we went to St Xavier's for mass.
We should've listened to Zena and brought an umbrella cause we got caught in the rain while we were walking there and had to end up running all the way there -.- in the rain...
Then after mass we went to get dinner and ice-cream!
haha
then we went back to Zena's and we all 3 washed up after dinner and started mugging...
Though we were distracted by some chinese show -.-
haha but overall we did manage to get stuff done.
Oh but we ended up sleeping at like around 1.30AM..
haha yes..we all knocked out after that.
But it was fun =D

Megan's Party
It rained and my CCA got cancelled..So i went to Megan's place first.
We were all at the pool waiting for more people to come and Megan kept argueing with the security guard -.-
I just sat by the pool side with Xavier.
Then later Ru and Jacq came with Grace and i ended up borrowing Grace's swim suit..
Which of course...didn't fit me well since it was a two piece
and i'm taller than Grace..
HAHA the skirt was short and the top was short..but it was ok. I wore my shirt over to swim
haha Ru wore a bikini but she also wore a shirt to swim.
Overall we all had a good time.
And I had a goodnight ;)
Cause someone told me he liked me.
haha

Today! supposedly a study day
Went out with Ru and Jacq.
We were supposed to study but we ended up shopping
Haha, I bought mood rings and a wallet =D
we did study a bit
But it was fun hanging out with them anyways =)
lol

well now i've really got to mug for my end of years..
Been doing badly in my grades for a while now
and throughout this whole time i havent talked to Marcus
And there have been more stuff that have happened but i can't really remember now..
Sorry =)

will type again when im free and feel like jotting down EVERYTHING=)
ciao

Over speculation

2009-08-30T07:20:00.000-07:00

today there was junior cat..it was DAMN FUN!
haha poor Darrall..he'd be shocked to know i had fun..HAHAHA
Oh then like Marcus ran away from home yesterday but i managed to convince him to go home...
Wonder how things are now...
Anyways. i have got full day school tmrw even though its teachers day
And today i found Rayner acting a bit...weird..
Maybe cause he was being nice
HAHAHAHA
oh wells..
I'm too lazy to type some stuff out..
So ciao til the hols I guess. =D
bye!

Need to explore

2009-08-13T07:50:00.000-07:00

Haha ok today i followed Ru to ACS Barker cause she was meeting her friend.
So i followed,then erm...walked home from there.haha
And i walked pass Yi Kun's house..
lol
ok i know im boring..haha
sorry..im sorta like on the phone.haha
Oh and ive been writing songs..lol
when i have the time i will type them out here...
yes....THEM..
haha i've written 8 songs already..lol
so yea...so emo...-.-
hahaha
im damn bored
im like on the phone with shan and his friend...
From my church...er
Joel or something..i dont know lah.hahaha
ew Damn disturbing..hahahaah...
damn gay..i think shan is turning gay.lol
how retarded... anyways...
i think its damn retarded and sick..lol

Gotta start writing soon!

2009-07-23T08:03:00.000-07:00

I've gotta seriously start writing more songs soon..
i've like got major inspiration to write..
Wish i had time..HAHA
if Megan and my cousin'd friend help me then i got a band!!!
hahaha
YAY!
oh and i gotta perform on Monday -.-
I think i'll sing out of tune -.-
And laugh when i act -.-
-.- hahahahaah
so anw im gonna go sleep already..
NIGHT!

Thank you my FRIENDS

2009-07-21T07:43:00.000-07:00

First i wanna say thanks to Ru for sorta comforting me in school=)
At least you were there for me unlike my ''bestfriend''
HAHA that's why you're like my bestfriend too =)
Oh then there's Grace of course..
Just kept consoling me.
Thanks you guys..Love ya'll LOADS

Ok then after we went to pay respect to *...*
I dont wish to mention..private stuff..
I met up with Darrall..
Yea,he listened to me complain about Marcus.
And we went to study at Novena with his friend..
It was a different experience compared to when i hang out with Marcus...
Somehow...this felt nice..in a way..
Then i apologised ti him for like making him hear me vent all my anger..
And he said nah its ok =)
Somehow that made me feel better too =)

Then I came home and read my blog again..
Had comments from Stelle and Ru..
Thanks =) I really really appreciate it=)

So thank you to everyone who cheered me up today
Means alot to me.
Love ya'll!

Sorry...

2009-07-20T08:52:00.000-07:00

I'm sorry...
For being there for you
For loving you...
yes there are two people im talking about now..
Shall i say their names?
Yes.I think I should.
First of all,Terence,
Sorry if whatever I say is crap to you.
Sorry for adding on my burden to you.
Turns out, you're just like every other selfish guy I know.
You don't love me.
You never did.
I know you have your problems,but it doesnt mean I dont have my own.
I help you solve your problems...but you dont take my advice.
And you keep turning my words against me.
7 MONTHS i still liked you.
I regret.
I should've NEVER told you anything.
Sorry for giving you hell.
Never thought you'd be this selfish to only f***ing care about how you feel.
Sorry for wasting my time pouring out my feelings to you.
Now just go continue smoking and drinking your life away.
If you knew what i had to go through for you,maybe you'd understand..
But then again,you can't love me cause you have LOST your feelings
That's why you feel neutral toward this.
You just don't want to admit it.
And you can't love me either cause you don't care.
So,goodbye.
you are out of my life.

Now Marcus,
you know i was crying and you said you gotta go cause you're tired.
Thanks for ''helping'' me.
Do you know how many f***ing nights i had to stay up just because you and MEL were ARGUEING?
did you not think that i had other things to do?
What do you think I am?
Best friend at your disposal?!
I help you and you take it for granted.
Thanks..
you're the best friend I always wanted..
NOT
its not goodbye yet, but...
I wanna see if you're smart enough to see what you're doing to me.

Thanks alot terence,btw,I love crying.
Makes me have puffy eyes in the morning,stings my face,breaks my heart and spoils my mood.
So sorry for ever falling in love with you...

Man...I feel like hitting something.

And wait,what am i sorry for?
Oh yea..
Making you angry when I didnt even do anything wrong.
And as usual i always take the blame.
WHENEVER have you ever said sorry to me?
WHEN?!
NEVER
im always the one saying sorry.
shit.
the guys in my life are all f***ed up.

Stress, burnout or clinical depression?

2009-07-14T05:59:00.000-07:00

ok,short and sweet...
I haven't been feeling well for awhile...mentally
..but....
when i go to school and stuff...
i dunno..
i just dont know which side is the real me and which side is just acting...
I don't know what's real anymore
Today marcus came and tried to cheer me up...
Thanks but i was tired..
And no..I wasn't thinking about Silas all the way ok...
stupid..
so...
Ciao..

I finally got some inspiration

2009-07-12T04:00:00.000-07:00

ok ive managed to write another song..FINALLY!!!

Not meant to be

You, have left me so empty
And as i try to find the light
The pain you brought on me,
Pulls me down along with all your lies
And now i've become so cold.

I know, never look back
Just keep moving on but

(chorus)
Why do I try to get you back
Even when i know, you're gone.
Why do i even care
What you, do now
Why can't I see
Through this misery,
That you were not meant to be, with me

As time goes by I realise,
How much I can do without you.
And all the memories that we had,
Are stuck in the past and now i can finally breathe

But i don't know why it keeps coming back to me

Why do i try to get you back
even when I know, you're gone
Why do i even care
What you do now
Why can't i see, through this misery
that you were not meant to be (with me)

I guess sometimes,
love can change a person
It makes them, experience, magic
Then tears them apart

(Chorus)

you and i were never meant, to be

I gotta wear specs!!!

2009-07-10T05:05:00.000-07:00

OMG ok yea i went to check my eyes today...
it was bad...=(
so now i have to wear specs...cause if i don't,i'll strain my eyes unconsciously and then it will cause me to have headaches...so yea...
LOL...
I'll look so bad
anw im gonna go bathe now...so...
Ciao...

It's not my problem

2009-07-08T06:58:00.000-07:00

Ok so you want fight with her and she's impatient like hell...
Dont ask me for help OK?!
Do you know that your problems arent mine?!
It's your relationship. NOT mine.
First of all, she thinks everything is wrong with her and blames herself and cries.
Secondly, You complain to me and now you're asking me to fuck off?
I didnt even do anything.
I dont even know what on earth happened AGAIN between you and her..
Just cause I'm your best friend doesn't mean that I have to solve all your problems.
And you know what?!
I can't WAIT to migrate.
I dont want to help you if you keep thinking of suicide and think your life sucks more than everyone else's
And i dont want to help her because she gets angry all the time and she's killing herself slowly..
She also doesn't LISTEN...
so maybe you should tell her to STOP being so annoying and stop asking me to help her...
She keeps asking me how and when i TELL her how, she doesn't LISTEN..
ok those of you who don't get this, don't think i'm being cold or mean..
If you know what i've been doing for both of them for like 3 years then you'd understand

OK enough ranting...
Hey Ru and Stelle ! =) hope you guys get well soon!!
Today was SOO quiet without you guys...
Rina was sick too...
Get well RINA!!
OMG i had stiff neck for like two days already...
It made me stay awake during physics,,
HAHAHAH
it doesn't let me sleep...oh well...
i dont really have much to say now...so yea...
Ciao..

''Youth Day''

2009-07-03T20:37:00.000-07:00

Hey =) ok so yesterday was suppossedly youth day celebration but because of H1N1 my school didn't celebrate it in ANY way...sadness...
But it didn't matter because I went out with Marcus and Dillon..(yes Ru, another new name on my blog =))
So yea my fringe was screwed cause i had to pin it up in school..
Then Marcus asked if i wanted him to walk me home..So i said ok..
Then in one of his messages he said ''we will meet you there''..
So i asked ''we?'' and he said yea Dillon is with me....-.-
Was i freaked out? yes..
In my school uniform i couldn't look more unglam than i already did..=(
Oh then we went to eat at fish and co and we saw nat....
Embarrassing much..so yea I had loads of fun =)Then after that they wanted to go to st Michael's but couldn't get in..
So Marcus decided to go to my house instead..I thought he was joking...
Then they both came to my house.
And yes this is the FIRST time i have let boys into my room...
Of course I had to run ahead of them to clear up some....stuff...
HAHAHA...
Marcus painted his nails -.-
Oh then Marcus was like showing off his abs lah...he got none..HAHA
Then when Dillon was standing in front of the mirror Marcus pulled his shirt up..HAHA
total shocker for me..But eh at least he got abs lah.LOL
But of course I had natural reaction. I turned my head away. =)
I'm so guai =))
So anyways when we had to go..after Marcus left for swimming,I had to walk with Dillon back to the station...
It was very awkward for me..Like we didn't talk much unless he asked where to go and unless i tried to make small talk...
Which y'know is difficult for me...when im shy..
HAHA...Marcus knows this but luckily Dillon doesn't...
I gave a LOT of tell tale signs that I was nervous...
ok When im nervous I tend to touch my hair...ALOT...
so i think I retied my hair 6-7 times and kept touching my fringe -.-
Yea so after we both crossed the overhead bridge we walked our seperate ways-.- (sounds wrong)
Then i had to rush off for violin class
Then I went to watch transformers....IT'S AWESOME
haha
But now...today...I need to go bathe.. cause i just finished tennis training and im cooling down....and I have CHINESE tuition in about 15 mins...damn....
Oh well. =)
Ciao

hmm..

2009-06-26T22:32:00.000-07:00

ok i haven't posted anything for a very long time cause holidays are not meant for fun.
they are meant for studying and more homework.
Without having to go to school i feel so stressed.
Imagine GOING to school -.-
so retarded.
Ok and of course people who know me know that im totally not loyal to Singapore.
Seriously.
There's H1N1 going around and they let school re-open WHY?!
because of AYG.
so your precious marketing is more important than your people?
They even KNOW that going back to school will cause a RISE in the number people who have H1N1..
HOW RETARDED IS THAT?
I tell you if i freaking get H1N1 im seriously gonna write in.
I'm safe at home and now they freaking make me go to school?!
WTH!!!
How sick is our government?!
My tennis camp also got cancelled..
yea..THANKS ALOT
And like tomorrow im going for AYG.
it's just like SARS.
you dont want to get it either right?
but nooo you let people go to school and get it -.-
at least for SARS they closed schools..
so health is a reason why students DON'T WANT TO GO BACK TO SCHOOL..
and another reason is because SOME students had to go back to school ALMOST everyday for workshops or CCA's
DO YOU THINK THEY HAVE TIME TO FINISH ALL THEIR HOMEWORK?
do our subject teacher's even talk to each other and decide how much homework each teacher should give?! NO i dont think so.
Every subject has LOADS of research to do,writing etc
and do you know that we are freaking WASTING PAPER?
so much for environmentally friendly.
and does our government know how freaking advanced we are in studies?!
my cousin from London is in JC 2.
he came back to singapore and looked at my sec 3 math textbook.
He asked : ''you're learning this?''
I said:'' yup"
And you know what he said?!
''I haven't learnt this yet'' -.-
and y'know parents are SO ANNOYING?
they keep going ''oh school is so fun'', ''nope i've studied what you're studying now so you shouldn't be failing'','' c'mon school is so easy''
OH WELL sorry to say this but
WHY DONT YOU FREAKING LOOK AT OUR TEXTBOOKS?
the syllabus have all CHANGED since your time AGES AGO.
please,if i went back in time to go to school i'd be a straight A student.
Sure the world is advancing but uh....
because the world is advancing,
the EARTH is dying..
yup
And singapore...we have too many buildings.
i've seen rainbows in the sky..yea..beautiful...
BUT A DAMN BUILDING IS BLOCKING THE VIEW.
So see,singapore cares more about their marketing,tourists,stuents and workers coming from abroad.
And what about us?!
WHAT HAVE YOU DONE FOR US?!
the people that have made you're nation?!
This is why many singaporeans all MIGRATE.
And another reason why people migrate is because Singapore has nothing for those interested in arts.
sure we have napha and la selle..
but they aren't GOOD ENOUGH.
Concerts, performances...Why do people SCREAM?
WHY DON'T WE HAVE ANY ETIQUETTE?'well its simply because we don't have enough EXPOSURE to arts.
I dont appreciate singapore. I really dont.
The only reason why i do like singapore is because there aren't any natural disasters or wars.
Oh and another thing.
WHY DO I HAVE TO BE FREAKING 21 TO GET A DRIVING LICENSE?!
but no its ok.
hopefully i'll migrate to America before i turn 20 and get my license there.
PEOPLE OF 16 YEARS OLD HAVE DRIVING LICENSE.
this is why we get HUMILIATED AND MADE FUN OF OUTSIDE OF SINGAPORE.
ok that's all i have to say.
anymore and i would be writing a letter to the government instead.

i can't think of a title

2009-06-11T22:15:00.000-07:00

I'M FREAKED OUT
ok it's like i was just using my com like only MSN and facebook
then suddenly music started playing..
like wordless music..um it wasn't scary music nor punk rock..
It sounded like what you'd hear in a hotel lobby..
Really cheerful music..so it didn't freak me out when it was playing..
But like when it did...I was freaked...
I looked everywhere on my com to see if i clicked on something to trigger it..
NOTHING...
it's like it was damn loud too..
so i turned the volume down..
I COULD TURN THE VOLUME DOWN?!
yea so again i rechecked everything but still....nothing...
so it played for 5 mins..
I closed all my windows...and yea my itunes wasn't open or playing either...
but the song continued...
i AM SCARED...
plus, i was alone at home...
ew....

ok anyways..im gonna talk bout other things...
keep myself distracted..
um..so 21 cases of H1N1 here in Singapore..
People who had it came back from either New York or....Australia...
Marcus is in Australia...
I pray he's ok...
anything happens to him (touchwood) i think i'll be depressed..
And it's possible i would cry..
It's like he's my best friend..
AHHH!!
so sad..
Anyways...I hope he'll be fine when he gets back on Monday..

On Tuesday we went to East Coast Park Chalet to celebrate Ru's B'dae in advance..haha
so went to pick up Ru,Stelle,Grace,Jac and Rajali at Novena
then blah blah blah
When we reached the chalet,the chalet next to us had like 3 guys sitting outside..O.o
Then later on after my mu left and we were all chilling outside the chalet,
a whole group of guys walked into the chalet next to us..
Mind you they were shirtless -.-
then one of them said hi and wanted to know who was celebrating her birthday..
That was Justin.He was celebrating his birthday too..but very belated birthday..haha
turns out all the guys were 16 years old and from ACS Barker
Oh and it turns out his surname is Wee...
Maybe he's my distant cousin..HAHAHAHAHAH
DOTS...
later on we went cycling..
eh no wait... we went cycling first..HAHA oopsy..
yea so like we went cycling and Grace and I crashed into a LAMPOST..
don't ask..-.-
haha
I got off fine,no bruises or anything but Grace hit her face against the pole and had a small cut on her thumb...
Poor Grace..
anyways yea after that we went back to the chalet and washed our legs
they had oil stains..HAHA
oh yea..we cycled before meeting the guys cause i remember my hair was wet..
And i was asking Ru to throw down a comb -.-
HAHA..

So later on that night more people came and we had a bbq...we sure had a fun time..
HAHA
but i feel sad..I can never celebrate my birthday like that..
it's always near exams and it's always a school night.. -.-
So sad..imagine when i turn 16..
its so SAD to think that in my life i can NEVER have a proper birthday party... :(
aww i feel like crying.. -.-
shit..haha

Oh and btw i haven't been posting cause i haven't got the time..
Been busy with tuition..-.-
So..yea...
the last two weeks im gonna be extremely busy cause ive got an english workshop from the 15 to 20
and ive got tennis camp from 24 to 26..
sad...oh well..what to do?
FINISH MY HOMEWORK FIRST..
aw damn...i don't have time for homework..like literally..
anyways gtg finish up some math homework..-.-
ciao.

A band?? AWESOME count me IN

2009-05-25T08:26:00.000-07:00

OK so Sunday was quite...interesting..haha
Cause of my new hairstyle..
SO ANYWAYS..

Today Stelle,Ru and Grace were serious about starting a band..
I thought they were kidding at first..
But they were really serious bout it.
So now we needa find a comfortable genre and a band name -.-
SO COOL!!
hahaha

OH today i was so pissed with my parents..
Like i was at city hall with Ru to go buy presents and stuff..
Then my 'rents kept rushing me home
and then....I got on the wrong train -.-
My dad called me and yelled at me..
But like..he could've fetched me and saved me the trouble..
so yea...then after switching trains,
i ran from novena station all the way home..(luckily i've done marathons before!!)
And my bag was heavy...VERY heavy..
I almost cried on the train...felt so angry and tired..HAHA
oh well...I wished he was there with me

so
anyways
I'm gonna sleep now...
it' like almost midnight...

specific stuff

2009-05-21T05:24:00.000-07:00

OK i havent blogged for a LONG time again cause..i dont know...
I just didn't really have time?

Anyways here are some stuff that has happened:

-Stelle's 15th b'dae
-Exam results
-IJ Fiesta tomorrow!

For stelle's birthday we went ice-skating.
It was really FUN
though i didnt know how i got two bruises..
And i DID get a cut..
BY ACCIDENT..lol..but it's a small cut so no biggie.
and yea, now im labeled SOTONG QUEEN by Rayner -.-
But anyways after ice-skating we all headed down to Clark Quay for dinner.
Really YUMMY food but it was very expensive..
Then we went to Zena's house..
Had fun too!!
HAHA...especially when Zena found out that i have made out before with a certain someone...

ANYWAYS...
MY RESULTS!!
Uh...I need help in physics,geog,A math and CHINESE!!
man...I'm not meant for chinese..
And i really need to pass A math..-.-
well im not gonna mention my marks cause it's nothing good to talk about.
So i'm gonna move on.

Oh and i was supposed to bitch about someone who really pissed me off...
But during retreat we apologised so everything's ok now..
Just...awkward..
Ms Nandar is spoiling US!!
everything is like..it's ok,don't hold grudges,blah blah blah..
yeah yeah..forgive and forget..
But hey, i'm NOT the chairperson,i'm just the TREASURER..
If she has forgotten..
So why should I have to keep doing their job?? -.-
But whatever..

Stupid exams...we should have a STRIKE!! lol..
First, it makes us stressed.
Second, we waste A LOT OF paper.
Third, it disrupts our menstrual cycle -.-
And lastly, it makes us put on MORE weight...

Which is of course very annoying...
I like need to lose TONS of weight before confirmation at the end of the year..
Plus, having to have to wear a WHITE DRESS makes things worse..
So in order to look nice for an IMPORTANT event...
I NEED TO LOSE WEIGHT!!
I must start running again..
Damn...need to see whether i can lose weight or tone down during june.
I've been the same weight for ONE YEAR!!
Sian...Oh wells...

An EXTREMELY tiring day..

2009-05-12T05:21:00.000-07:00

Ok im too lazy to type out everything..
I had to do housework,
Had tuition (A math),
Finished up my song,
Walked the dogs,
Studied some more etc..

And my sleep was disrupted 9 TIMES!
Sian...
I wanna go sleep soon...
Got exam tomorrow..
Wish me luck!!

I'm gonna end off with a few lyrics from some songs..
And no I didnt copy lyrics from these songs,
I found these songs AFTER i wrote my song..LOL
BYE!!

One last cry-Brian Mcknight

My shattered dreams and broken heart
Are mending on the shelf
I saw you holding hands, standing close to someone else
Now I sit all alone wishing all my feeling was gone
I gave my best to you, nothing for me to do
But have one last cry

Chorus:
One last cry, before I leave it all behind
I've gotta put you outta my mind this time
Stop living a lie
I guess I'm down to my last cry....

When the last teardrop falls-Blaque

So now I'm alone and life keeps movin' on
But my destination still unknown, oh yeah
Will there be a time when I'll fall in love again?
When I was meant to walk these streets alone
If there was just one wish I could be granted here tonight
It would be to have you right back by my side

Chorus:
When the last tear drop falls
I'll still be holdin' on to all of our memories
And all of what used to be
When the last tear drop falls
I will stand tall
And know that you're here with me in my heart
When the last tear drop falls....

The Fourth Drink Instinct-Cute Is What We Aim For

She's doesn't deserve to be in a place like this
All alone
She's underage and so very very brave
A fake ID lent her credibility

She sits at the bar
The gents are gonna try so hard

He said it was a one night stand
But the alcohol didn't let her understand
Yeah, he said it was a one night stand
A one night stand

Chorus:
So what made you think
That he couldn't find a door in the morning?
When he found that bed so easily
In the dark
What made you think
That he couldn't find a door in the morning?
When he found that bed so easily
In the dark.....

Bittersweet Memories

2009-05-12T04:56:00.000-07:00

I wrote a song..
I know it doesn't make any sense but here goes...

Bittersweet Memories

Nobody knew her the way he did,
And she just sits there thinking of him.
Cause he made her believe that
She didn't always have to be alone..
But now she regrets...

Cause now all she has
Is bittersweet memories of him.
And she just can't stop thinking
Bout the times they had together

Now as she sits alone in her room,
She still can't believe he's gone.
Every night she says the same prayer,
Hoping he would realise
How much she loves him...

Cause now all she has
Is bittersweet memories of him.
And she just can't stop thinking
Bout the times they had together..

Everyday she hoped he would come back,
But she just couldn't see,she just couldn't see....

She was addicted to the pain,
Of wanting something she could not have...

But he broke her heart,
Was the reason her world fell apart.
He made her cry and yet
She still loved him...

But now all she has
Is bittersweet memories of him..
And she just can't stop thinking
Bout the times they had together

oh oh
Bittersweet memories...

ok so...this song btw is COPYRIGHTED!!
and it is personal so you know..
comment if you want i'll take it as uh...
what's it called??
OH constructive criticism..=)

Thanks bye!!

im in a terrible condition

2009-05-10T07:31:00.000-07:00

Im aching from training,
I'm confused and pissed with everyone and most of all...
I'm lost again...
Why?
I don't know...
well whatever..
That's all for today...

Extremely LONG post

2009-05-07T05:32:00.000-07:00

OK...so here's my really long post that covers the whole past week..
I missed so many posts thanks to my keyboard which gave up on me.
Anyways here goes...

Saturday
Went out with Marcus and Rayner for dinner and stuff..
Then we went to church for the movie thing..
LOL...Marcus doesn't know what PMO is..
Had dinner at AMK Hub..
LOL you guys are damn gross la...mix up those stuff..
And Marcus and his fried ice-cream..LOL
Yes we were late for the movie thing in church..
Missed P and W...sad..
But i had fun..
And i found out Rayner has a girlfriend.........
Woah bummer. What interesting news.
Anyways that's all for saturday.My most unglam day.

Sunday
Went for church,didn't have catechism class...sad..
Studied SS the whole day..
I swore I DIED..
yea..so that's all i remember on Sunday..

Monday
Social studies exam..
I died..I didnt write the last question properly!!
Damn..Oh well..
Went to the LIBRARY after breakfast with Jac and Ru..
Then i went home AND I went to cram the whole night on physics and E math..
I don't like physics..
I don't understand it..
So that's really all for monday..

Tuesday
I had E math and physics exam..
I'm gonna fail both papers..
For physics i totally FORGOT all the formulas..Crap..
For E math i think i'll fail too..There was this whole section i didn't know how to do..
Damn...
Anyways, I went home...or did i go out for lunch?? ah i can't remember..
Oh yea I remember...I went out for lunch with Ru, Galen and Christabel..
Awesome =))
Then we went to the LIBRARY...
Galen went home first, then bel..
Then after that Ru and I went for dinner at Novena.
LOLS...
So after that I went home and continued cramming the whole night..
Geog was easier to remember but obviously it wasn't easy to do...
Oh and Lorena got sent back..
She did something wrong and unexpected so yea...
Now my mum has to do all the housework and laundry and stuff...
so that's all for Tuesday..

Wednesday
Had geog exam..
Fail too...
Shit...I think i'm gonna fail ALL my exams..
Oh well...What to do?
I'm stressed, depressed and pissed and very distracted..
Maybe I have ADD...oh wells..
So after exams I went out for breakfast with Ru Hui,Jac and Grace..
My mum found out and got pissed cause I didnt tell her where I was going..
So she ordered me to go home..
So I reluctantly did...
I hate going home...It stresses me out..
But whatever..
So I went home and studied chem..
So yea...that's all again..

Thursday
Today I had my chem paper...
It was easy but I'm gonna fail..
No point wanting to pass anymore..
And HE called me last night..Twice..
He didn't say anything but I couldn't stop smiling...
Before he called I was thinking about him...
Smiling to myself...
I must be crazy...
So anyways,I'm gonna go continue study literature like I was supposed to do..haha

I'm gonna end off with my new FAVOURITE SONG..

Where did my baby go?
I wonder where she ran off to
I miss my baby so
I'm calling but I can't get through
Please tell that girl if you meet
someone's longing to see her
Where did my baby go?
I wish that she would get back soon (get back soon)

I'm searching for the lover I knew
Have you seen her?
Where did she go?
Feels like I've just lost my only friend
Flames subsided, colors faded
Love just got so complicated
Wish that I could see her smile
if you see her out there, tell her I'm still here
Waiting for the day when she will reappear

Where did my baby go?
I wonder where she ran off to
I miss my baby so
I'm calling but I can't get through
Please tell that girl if you meet
someone's longing to see her
Where did my baby go?
wish that she would get back soon (get back soon)

Maybe I was wrong and I
Ignored her for too long and I
Didn't even notice when she slipped away
Maybe while I lay fast asleep then
Out into the night she
leave the light on, so she'll come back someday
So if you see her out there, tell her it's not fair
That life's just not the same when she's not here

Where did my baby go?
I wonder where she ran off to
I miss my baby so
Just what am I supposed to do?
Please tell that girl if you meet her
That someone's longing to see her
Where did my baby go?I wish that she would get back soon (get back soon)

I will love you forever and always..
That, I can promise... <3

Where did my baby go?

2009-05-07T01:39:00.000-07:00

Where did my baby go-john legend
ok that song is stuck in my head..
Not my fault...
I like that song =)

Anyways its in the afternoon now..
I'm supposed to be studying..
And i know i haven't blogged for SO SO LONG...
But i think i'll blog later...for now,
I'll go study literature..

Will Post Later!!!
bye for now!! <3

I will always love you...

A tiring day

2009-04-21T07:47:00.000-07:00

I won't type much...
My title says it all...
Today i went home and fell asleep on the sofa...
I knocked out for about 3 hours and i was too weak to get up..
Oh and I've been feeling sick again...the headaches and throwing up feeling..
Don't know why...

And I even had a strange dream...
I dreamt of some poem and it was like really damn nice...
It had a lot of emotion...
Like it was sad, and had happy parts and it really was like...Wow...
But unfortunately it was damn long and when I woke up I forgot it...
If only i could remember...
Then I could be a good poet...
Sad....

And for vocal class I improved again...Whoopee

ok im going to sleep now...

Adieu

No specific title..lol

2009-04-19T04:33:00.000-07:00

ok exams are coming and i haven't studied much...
Gonna die..lol
Today all I did was go for mass,catechism class,shop,blog and...yea that's it
haha

For catechism class, before we went in I went to meet Rayner and wait for Marcus..
Unfortunately Serena saw me..So she hung out with me too....
Dont get me wrong...I like talking to her and stuff..
But when I'm with her, I'm not myself..
And I don't like it...Cause when I'm with her...I become a bit bitchy...
It kills me..But I don't dare to tell her to go away...
It's not nice...so I just like let her stay and talk...
And hate myself after that... -.-

Today for shopping I just bought some really good book on architecture.
The designs are damn nice.
I wish I could migrate and design my own house...
And yes i know it's weird Rayner, but I like designing houses...
Though you're right that it'll be a bit weird cause my math sucks..HAHA

But if I let you go,
I will never know.
What my life would be,
Holding you close to me.
Will I ever see,
You smiling back at me?
How will I know,
If I let you go?

Sorry...the song If I let you go by Westlife is stuck in my head..
HAHA..
Anyways that's all..

Guten Nacht!!

CONGRATS DANCERS!!

2009-04-16T06:00:00.000-07:00

OMG!!
Dancers got GOLD WITH HONOUR!!
CONGRATS!! =)
Knew you guys could do it.
Your hard work sure paid off!! =)

HAHA...
School was damn quiet without ya'll around.
And very empty..LOL

Hope Rayner got good results for his SYF too
He hasn't told me yet...

Anyways...Last night i drank coffee..
I couldn't sleep the whole night...HAHAHA
Never gonna drink coffee unless i need to..
So i studied geog and had a strange dream..
HAHA....
NO MORE COFFEE!!!
Uh don't mistake what i said...I didn't dream of no coffee..
I dreamt of something else i'm too lazy to type out
..HAHA

and today i was so so TIRED..
My stupid ankle hurts...
And i think i'll make the sprain worse on Saturday during tennis training...
I mean like, that's how i sprained it in the first place..HAHA

And today Grace and i went to subway
I bought a lot of stuff at POPULAR....
AHAHHAHA

Anyways im gonna go STUDY now..
Yes....STUDY...
LOL

Ciao!

I don't know what heading to put...-.-

2009-04-14T01:51:00.000-07:00

Okay so the weekend that passed I just pretty much fasted,slept,went out blah blah blah..
We had TONS of homework...
Like almost every teacher said
'' You have a long weekend so i'll give you more homework''...-.-
But hello??
I got to go to church you know.
And who would want to do homework when they're fasting?
HAHA....retardedness...

Today is like already Tuesday..
I didnt feel like blogging yesterday..
I was too tired..
I didnt even have time to do my homework!!
Plus! I had math tuition...

A heart is not a play thing,
A heart is not a toy..
But if you want it broken....
Give it to a boy.

Woah..I did not write that ok... I read it somewhere.
HAHA..
Been there, done that.
No big deal.
lol...

DIE!!
HAHAHA...

ok i know i'm being retarded, but im BORED!
well i better go warm up my voice!!
Got vocal class soon...

BYES!! =)

Aches and pains and a bit of confusion??

2009-04-09T07:35:00.000-07:00

OK on wednesday i had trial run for 2.4km
I finished in 14.29 mins..yay!!
But Kelly didn't take the right timings so i ran 13 rounds instead...

After that i had muscle ache...
And tennis training..HAHA

Yea so today I have really bad muscle ache..
And i found out my brother almost died
And my dad could lose his job today...
And Marcus isn't replying me
And HE doesn't realise anything...

What I gotta do to make you love me?

yea so anyways.
I just came back from church and im Dead tired and in pain...
So i think im headed off to bed...
With a lot of stuff on my mind...

Night...

DAVID ARCHULETA'S PERFORMANCE!!!

2009-04-07T08:49:00.000-07:00

OMG...
IT WAS SO AWESOME!!!
Grace and i were screaming and singing like crazy!!
We went there around 2.45 and waited..
It was SO worth it! lol

David sang Touch my hand, A little too not over you, A thousand miles (he played the piano too!!) and Crush..
HAHA...
I also lost my voice for awhile..HAHA
Then for the autograph session..
I was freakin NERVOUS.
HAHA...
He's damn nice in person!!!

David must SO come back again for a CONCERT!!!
Throughout the concert I kept wishing that SOMEONE was here with me..haha
Wonder why...

ANYWAYS...
If you wanna see pictures,
Go find them on my Facebook profile..
My mummy even recorded the WHOLE thing!!!
HAHA...

well im gonna sleep now...NIGHT!!! =))

Randomness

2009-04-06T08:19:00.000-07:00

Ok i FINALLY knew what to post..HAHA
Rayner gave me inspiration..LOL
Today i almost slept in A math class..I was practically dying!!
It was like almost 2 HOURS...
haha....

And thanks to Rayner, I put my tablet to good use.HAHA
I drew stuff on msn..
LOL...
Sorry..My specialty is flowers and vines and BORDERS..
HAHAHAHA...

ok, I said I was gonna sleep already..LOL
Goodnight!!!

Just take one step at a time,
There's no need to rush
It's like learning to fly,
Or falling in Love...

OMG DAVID!!!!

A Long long post

2009-04-05T03:13:00.000-07:00

Woah, I haven't posted anything for 6 days? haha
Well here goes my extremely LONG post.

School
The last thing i remember about school is that i have a lot of homework..haha
On Thursday,I stayed back til 4pm without lunch and I did the class banner alone(Luckily it was small)..
HAHA...Christabel and Clara helped me but left at 2.15pm
So i rushed home for lunch at 4.30PM. lol
Then i had tuition....

On Wednesday, I didn't feel well again..
In fact i almost, ALMOST threw up.
I had to go for the NE meeting for Rina cause she had SYF
Then i had tennis training..
Yea and i had a bad headache...Damn I wish i really was sick..

Fabulous Friday
The last day of the week..
I was not looking forward to E math remedial..I just wanted to go home..
Luckily i didn't have violin lesson if not i would have died..HAHA

Why do I keep thinking of HIM?
Why can't my heart realise that he's already gone??

Desperate, I will crawl, waiting for so long
No love, there is no love
Die for anyone, what have i become?

Tennis Training
On Wednesday I wasn't looking forward to training either..Other than feeling sick, I didnt want Coach Mah to come back..
Sorry coach I know we're slacking cause of Coach Andy..LOL
But Coach Mah didn't come..YAY!!
So as usual, training was as slack as ever.
And again, I stayed back awhile with Ambra to practice...
But we were both beat and not at our best shape so we had a break and went home instead..

On Saturday...
I was dreading training as i was afraid it would be like last week..
Bu it wasn't bad at all..=)
In fact, I improved. HAHA
And my coach was super pissed with this Eurasion lady in the next court cause she yelled at him (long story)
So he started hitting the balls harder and faster toward me...
Thank the Lord I have been running everyday...
At least i could return the shots..
But i hit myself with the racket once -.-
Now i've got a bruise...HAHA oh well..
Hopefully nest week i will improve again =))

Can't you see that i'm the one who understands you,
Been here all along so why can't you see?
You belong with me...

Family
I MISS MY BROTHER...
He's coming back on Thursday though..haha
Just had reunion dinner with my relatives that came back from Hong Kong and London..
I was bored..haha
But i was happy to see them again..Of course.=)

Would he ever feel the same way?
Shouldn't I know by now to NEVER date a guy from a co-ed school?
So why am I falling in love all over again?

Church and Catechism class
Today we were late for mass as usual -.-
And i also miss going for mass with my brother..

sigh...

For class, we did the washing of feet again..haha
Same as last year's camp...
Damn...i really dont want sec 3 to be the last year
I still wanna continue catechism class
If not i WILL miss ALL my friends...

Why can't i stop looking at him?

But if I let you go,
I will never know.
What my life would be,
holding you close to me.
Will I ever see,
You smiling back at me?
How will i know if I let you go...

OMG i can't wait till Tuesday!!

2nd Worst day so far

2009-03-29T07:14:00.000-07:00

What do i have to do to get you to notice me?
Seriously,
If i was just me,like how i am now, you wouldn't really care much about me.
But, if i was skinny and pretty,you'd care about everything i do...

Does it ever cross your mind that what you do would hurt me?
How stupid do you think Iam?
You guys always look down on me.
So honestly, I know im not pretty,
smart,
cute,
sweet
or whatever it is that you see in girls like that.

But im not just some thing you can throw around.
Damn...

Why is the world against me in everything that i do?

28th March...A bad bad Day

2009-03-29T00:07:00.000-07:00

Ok...So maybe I am a little stressed..
I couldn't play well for tennis training...
And like when i reached home..I just cried..
Woah..Major Emo-ness

Anyways,Marcus came over to the tennis courts to say hi.
I was glad he did,
It sure lightened up my day a bit.

And yea...towards dinner time,
My mum invited Marcus over for dinner since he was around our area..
We played ps3 after that..HAHA
Oh boy,...
I MISS my BROTHER...

Marcus sure does remind me of him.lol
So yea..I'm pretty TIRED again..
So...I slept at 9 something..HAHA..
so early..

And Katy Perry's Thinking of You is still stuck in my head..
AHH...can't stop singing it..lol..

OH OH and guess what??
I started CHINESE tuition again.
haha
ok
BYES! =)

27th March..The most tiring day

2009-03-28T23:54:00.000-07:00

For many,
Friday is meant for relaxation and blah blah blah..
So what did i do today?
Hmmm...
After school finished at 2.15pm(with assembly which dragged on til 2.30pm)
Stelle,Zena,Jac and I rushed out of school for a 15 minute lunch break.
Stelle,Jac and I were obviously late for E math remedial which starts at 2.45pm. -.-

We snuck in from the back of the class so Ms Chong didn't notice *Phew*
The lesson was so FUN..
*Dots*....
And when we finshed at 4.15pm
I had to rush home..
Mum was caught in a jam(Stelle,Jac and Ru, shut up la don't think wrong.HAHA)
So she reached school at 5pm.

Reached home by 5.30pm
Showered and stuff and finished by 6pm
Dinner till 6.30pm
Do homework till 7.45pm
Then go for violin lesson which finishes at 8.45pm...

Awesome...(Yea i tend to do things half hourly.lol)
I was so so TIRED...
And....I SLEPT AT 10.17PM!!!
that's so super EARLY!
I must be getting influence from Rayner and Marcus to sleep earlier.
HAHAHAH.

Damn, my ipod is dying of batt..
better go and charge it.LOL =)

Post for the 26th March!!

2009-03-28T23:50:00.000-07:00

Today went by as per normal -.-
Except the whole class got yelled at by Mr Ng (Physics teacher)
out of the whole class, only 8 people did his homework.
Well...He did not give clear instructions.LOL
So it is thereby clearly NOT our fault.Haha

So yea other than the yelling and scolding,
Nothing else interesting happened.
HAHA...

In and out =)

A more present post..

2009-03-25T04:53:00.000-07:00

Today i almost died in class.

HAHA.

I felt really dizzy and no i was not hungry.

I was almost late for school and i forgot to bring my racket. -.-

My mum had to bring it for me...

Well anyways now i sit in the centre of the class..

I'm surrounded by smart people..

I feel stupid.Lol

Today for tennis training i befriended Ambra.

She used to be my senior in primary school choir

And now she's my senior again! Lol

She's really nice =)

She can play tennis really well.

We stayed back awhile after training to play some more.

She was really encouraging too. Thanks!!

Well so now here I am typing this out and listening to

Thinking of you by Katy Perry.

Nice song =)

You said move on

Where do I go?

I guess second best is all I will know

Cause when I'm with him,

I am thinking of you,

Thinking of you.

What do i do if

You were the one

Who was spending the night?

Oh I wish that I was looking into your eyes...

24th March late post

2009-03-25T04:32:00.000-07:00

Something must have been on today.
First, I met Betrand at Junction 8.
Then, when i went for vocal class, I saw Marcus.LOL
I invited him over for dinner too.

So weird.haha
But it was fun.
We disturbed Rayner,haha. Sorry!!
Next time we all must hang out ok??
Maybe during June.haha

OK that's all for today =)

Church camp joy

2009-03-22T08:12:00.000-07:00

The first day of church camp was so fun =)
I was the only girl from class in the beginning then later on Ida came.
Before she came i just hung out with Marcus and the guys.
We had quite a fun time.
Now i practically am friends with more guys in catechism class.

I have to admit that sometimes hanging out with all guys can be more fun than hanging out with all girls..
Dont get me wrong,I'm not despo or anything.
Its just that i hang out with all girls too much.HAHA

I was happy that Marcus and i were FINALLY in the same group.
We were always in different group since sec 1.
The guys in my class are...nice =)HAHA
Later on we had a skit and stuff.
Aris's group was damn good.
We had a good laugh.

And today was the last day of camp..
It was shorter but it was great too.
I hung out with Nat,Sarah and Ida.
And i also hung out with Marcus,Rayner,John S. and Augustine.
I had a good time.Dunno bout them.LOL

After camp finished,i went out with Marcus and Rayner.
We went to watch a movie.
Hanging out with them really was a...different experience.
I have to admit that it was my first time going out with just guys only.
It was more FUN(yea ok i admit my vocab is small) then the usual going out with my classmates.
But hey,we talk about different stuff so i guess we cant really compare right?

Yea so anyway,we saw Ben,Aris,Dom,Aloysious,Moira,Tiffany....the whole group..
They watched the same thing as us.
I was sitting next to Rayner..then he and Marcus switched seats.Dunno why
After the movie i went out for dinner with Marcus.
Sadly, Rayner had to go meet his parents...

So Marcus and I had dinner at BK in Novena.
Then he walked me home.
HAHA.No its not what you think.
It was good hanging out with Marcus.We did some good talking.HAHA

ok so i'm not sure you guys will see this but if you do,
We should hang out like after confirmation if not i'll miss ya'll like crazy.HAHA

Confusion of the mind

2009-03-20T04:49:00.000-07:00

Life is a maze and
Love is a riddle..

Do i really love him?
Or am i just addicted to the pain of getting hurt?

How come all my friends are living their fairytale?
I for one am not jealous but want to know why i can't get things right.
As i drown my confusion and pain in music,
How could i have been so blind?

Confusion wrought her mind,
Sorrow fills her heart.
She has lost herself in her own world,
One that has crashed down....

In her dream...

*I stand alone,
I can't see anyone or any living thing..
I call out but all i hear are the echoes of my voice.
Tall rundown buildings are all over,
Moss and dust covers them..

The layer of fog clouds most of my vision,
Or is it my tears that are starting to form?
The air is stale and cold,
And all i hear now are the short sharp breaths
and my heart beating faster and faster...

I am afraid.
I hear a sound not too distant from me.
I start running,
I fear whatever is around me..

Wake up!Wake up!
I trip and the next thing i know,
I am falling through endless time and space...*

She wakes up screaming and crying.
She felt so alone..

Ok so these few days have been mind boggling for me.
Everything is insane.
Thank the Lord for some of my friends.
And of course Marcus who has been trying to cheer me up.
Thanks for being my best friend=)

So maybe being single can be quite fun.
After all who knows what could happen?
I guess when a relationship comes,i'll just let it come.
Mr perfect really is taking his time.
That's probably why i haven't found him yet.
Oh well.

I have got just a few more hours to finish my holiday homework.
There's church camp tomorrow!
Oh boy it might be fun..
Who knows?

Moments of grief and pain

2009-03-18T03:56:00.000-07:00

Love is when you shed a tear,
And you still love him.
It's when he loves another girl,
But you smile and say i'm happy for you when all you do is cry...

So why can't i forget him again?
Why is my heart so stubborn
When i want to move on?

She sat in a corner all curled up
Hugging her knees and shivering with fear.
The darkness crept around her
Surrounding her with voices that mocked her failure..
She blamed herself for everything.

Her heart had been shattered into a million pieces,
one too many times.
The path of her tears became so familiar to her face...
She wept for grief,loss,anger and a yearning to find peace within her.

How could she not have seen
the tricks that were played on her,
the lies spoken and dark secrets kept?
How could she give her heart to another,
without thinking that he might leave her one day?

Appearance meant nothing to her,
But it did to everyone else.

Betrayal had become common
And so was heartache..

And because of all these,
She became afraid to trust anyone because everyone that ever said ''i'll be there'', left.

How could she have been so blind?

Freedom of passion

2009-03-17T07:49:00.000-07:00

Well what can i say?

Love is complicated and the truth can be unjust.

Life is never fair but God is.

So why is it that some of us suffer more than others?

That is never to be known.

What we have now, we may lose later.

What we don't have now, we'll get soon.

So why is is that now, friendship bonds are strained

Heartache becomes worse

Family ties are messed up

And yet, i find some peace within me?

What's wrong with life?

Pastimes and dreams

Nette